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♪ The Simpsons 26x21 ♪
Bull-E
Original Air Date on May 10, 2015
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00:00:05,292 --> 00:00:11,592
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
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HOMER:
D'oh!
4
00:00:19,376 --> 00:00:20,542
WILLIE:
Seymour.
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00:00:20,577 --> 00:00:22,911
I'm here to tell ya
I'm returning to Scotland
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00:00:22,946 --> 00:00:24,713
and you'll never
see me again.
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00:00:24,748 --> 00:00:27,048
But I have hand-picked
my replacement.
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00:00:27,084 --> 00:00:29,384
Mr. Johnny Mathis.
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00:00:29,419 --> 00:00:32,187
♪ Chances are ♪
10
00:00:32,222 --> 00:00:35,423
♪ I will give this hedge
a trim ♪
11
00:00:35,459 --> 00:00:39,127
♪ And I will kill
the gophers, too ♪
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Mmm. So beautiful.
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00:00:43,967 --> 00:00:45,967
(Mrs. Skinner imitating alarm)
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You're late for school.
15
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(English accent):
And Friday's lunch
16
00:00:52,276 --> 00:00:54,776
will be fish sticks, peas...
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00:00:54,811 --> 00:00:56,545
I'll finish
those morning announcements.
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00:00:56,580 --> 00:00:57,879
(clears throat)
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00:00:57,915 --> 00:00:59,047
And lime Jell-O.
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00:00:59,082 --> 00:01:00,282
Pathetic.
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Also, Friday night
is the school dance.
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And that's a treat
for the, uh, popular children,
23
00:01:05,322 --> 00:01:07,822
and a chance for the rest of you
to look within yourselves
24
00:01:07,858 --> 00:01:09,424
and ask what's wrong.
25
00:01:09,459 --> 00:01:13,128
Seymour. Let me know
if you make a BM today.
26
00:01:13,997 --> 00:01:15,497
Oh,
27
00:01:15,532 --> 00:01:18,900
my special little guy's
first school dance.
28
00:01:18,936 --> 00:01:21,736
(groans) Why do I have to go
to some stupid dance?
29
00:01:21,772 --> 00:01:23,371
It makes just standing
around with your friends
30
00:01:23,407 --> 00:01:25,207
feel like you're a loser.
31
00:01:26,877 --> 00:01:29,311
Bart, some of your
biggest heroes are dancers.
32
00:01:29,346 --> 00:01:31,346
Krusty was on
Dancing with the Stars
33
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until a panel of experts
determined he wasn't a star.
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(groans)
Dad, help me.
35
00:01:37,287 --> 00:01:40,088
(chuckles) Son, for
the rest of your life,
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00:01:40,123 --> 00:01:42,691
you're going to go to all
sorts of horrible events
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00:01:42,726 --> 00:01:44,993
just to spend
time with girls.
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Dances, stores, your wedding.
39
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You don't like those things?
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00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:51,600
Oh, no. No,
no, honey.
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00:01:51,635 --> 00:01:53,969
I love everything
you force me do.
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00:01:54,004 --> 00:01:56,004
And sometimes if
you do all that,
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00:01:56,039 --> 00:01:58,773
you get a very
special night.
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(groans)
And what does that get you?
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00:02:00,911 --> 00:02:02,110
Hopefully,
not a you.
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00:02:02,145 --> 00:02:04,946
♪ Not gonna make
another Bart tonight ♪
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♪ If I do it right,
no more Barts tonight ♪
48
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♪ No more Barts ♪
49
00:02:08,919 --> 00:02:12,220
♪ Tonight... ♪
50
00:02:12,256 --> 00:02:13,321
♪ No Barts! ♪
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Hmm?
52
00:02:14,458 --> 00:02:15,724
(Flanders humming)
Hmm.
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00:02:15,759 --> 00:02:18,693
And... done.
Proud of you boys.
54
00:02:18,729 --> 00:02:21,229
Thanks for painting my
fence, Stupid Flanders.
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00:02:21,265 --> 00:02:23,164
Homer Simpson,
reorder that border.
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00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:24,799
We've been painting
since sunup.
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00:02:24,835 --> 00:02:26,301
Half the fence is mine.
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00:02:26,336 --> 00:02:29,537
Fine.
Let the good Lord decide.
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D'oh! Woo-hoo!
D'oh! Woo-hoo!
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D'oh! Woo-hoo!
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Now I say good day.
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(chuckles)
Good day, Homer.
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I said good day.
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(Homer groans)
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Well, if it isn't the
Frown Princes of Gloomania.
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00:02:41,752 --> 00:02:43,151
What's wrong, boys?
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00:02:43,186 --> 00:02:45,820
Uncle Homer's
not nice to you.
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00:02:45,856 --> 00:02:48,690
Your name's not Stupid.
It's Ned.
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00:02:48,725 --> 00:02:49,924
Whoa, there, Roddy.
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00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:51,593
Someone's getting a
little too familiar.
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Sorry, Mr. Daddy.
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(chuckles)
Time to hop aboard the
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00:02:57,467 --> 00:03:00,535
School... Train.
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00:03:00,570 --> 00:03:02,871
School Train?
75
00:03:02,906 --> 00:03:04,906
(funky tune playing)
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00:03:07,978 --> 00:03:09,911
(Otto laughing)
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00:03:16,753 --> 00:03:18,853
I'm going to die, children.
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00:03:18,889 --> 00:03:20,855
And so will you someday.
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(screaming)
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(sighs)
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♪ ♪
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(yells)
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Thanks a
lot, Bart.
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00:03:43,747 --> 00:03:46,448
That orange drink machine
was my mom's fiancé's
85
00:03:46,483 --> 00:03:48,450
only source of income.
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00:03:48,485 --> 00:03:50,919
(grunts)
(groans)
87
00:03:50,954 --> 00:03:53,822
What a relief. This dance
has turned into a fight.
88
00:03:53,857 --> 00:03:55,590
Would you
dance with me?
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(gasps) Where'd you come from?
Fifth grade.
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00:03:58,528 --> 00:04:00,929
BART: Be careful, Bart.
If you take her hand now...
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00:04:00,964 --> 00:04:03,765
DEMONIC VOICE:
Your puberty has started!
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00:04:06,336 --> 00:04:07,969
Who the hell are you?
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00:04:08,004 --> 00:04:11,639
I am the puberty
demon. (cackles)
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00:04:11,675 --> 00:04:13,141
(high-pitched squeak,
clears throat)
95
00:04:13,176 --> 00:04:15,009
For a thousand
lifetimes of man,
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00:04:15,045 --> 00:04:18,613
I have been going through
changes I don't understand.
97
00:04:20,150 --> 00:04:23,351
You can join me if you
just take her hand.
98
00:04:23,387 --> 00:04:25,353
I'd certainly like
to help a demon, but I...
99
00:04:25,389 --> 00:04:28,089
Do it. Enter the world
of body spray,
100
00:04:28,125 --> 00:04:31,459
wiry hairs and wondering
what boobs feel like.
101
00:04:31,495 --> 00:04:32,694
Do you know?
102
00:04:32,729 --> 00:04:34,996
Sure, sure.
Of course I do.
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00:04:35,031 --> 00:04:36,865
♪ She's up all night
to the sun ♪
104
00:04:36,900 --> 00:04:38,066
Eh, why not?
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00:04:38,101 --> 00:04:40,068
♪ I'm up all night to get some ♪
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00:04:40,103 --> 00:04:41,970
♪ She's up all night
for good fun ♪
107
00:04:42,005 --> 00:04:44,038
♪ I'm up all night
to get lucky ♪
108
00:04:44,074 --> 00:04:45,940
♪ We're up all night
to the sun ♪
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00:04:45,976 --> 00:04:47,842
♪ We're up
all night to get some ♪
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00:04:47,878 --> 00:04:50,211
♪ We're up all night
for good fun ♪
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00:04:50,247 --> 00:04:52,080
♪ We're up
all night to get lucky ♪
112
00:04:52,115 --> 00:04:54,349
♪ We're up all night to get lucky ♪
(Willie grunts)
113
00:04:54,384 --> 00:04:56,217
♪ We're up all night
to get lucky ♪
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00:04:56,253 --> 00:04:58,086
♪ We're up
all night to get lucky ♪
115
00:04:58,121 --> 00:05:00,221
♪ We're up all night
to get lucky ♪
116
00:05:00,257 --> 00:05:02,490
♪ We're up
all night to get lucky ♪
117
00:05:02,526 --> 00:05:04,859
♪ We're up all night
to get lucky ♪
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00:05:04,895 --> 00:05:06,694
♪ We're up
all night to get lucky ♪
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♪ We're up all night
to get lucky. ♪
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(cheering, whooping)
Huh? (grunting)
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I'll have him good as new.
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I just have to get me hammers.
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SKINNER:
And tonight's best dancer:
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00:05:17,073 --> 00:05:18,873
Bart Simpson.
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00:05:18,909 --> 00:05:20,909
This is for you.
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I'll meet you outside.
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(students oohing)
128
00:05:25,749 --> 00:05:27,182
Hey, look.
129
00:05:27,217 --> 00:05:28,716
It's someone
who does stuff.
130
00:05:28,752 --> 00:05:30,485
The bullies'
natural enemy.
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00:05:30,520 --> 00:05:32,687
Nice dancing, Bart.
Hey, knock it off!
132
00:05:32,722 --> 00:05:34,889
You're a real
leotard.
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00:05:34,925 --> 00:05:36,925
(bullies laughing)
134
00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:39,027
That works on
two levels.
135
00:05:39,062 --> 00:05:41,029
Yeah. Just like the old
Springfield Galleria.
136
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(grunting)
137
00:05:42,432 --> 00:05:45,233
Do what you want to me.
Just don't touch the trophy.
138
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(laughs)
Yeah, right.
139
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(groans)
140
00:05:52,609 --> 00:05:53,609
Hi.
141
00:05:53,643 --> 00:05:54,876
This is for you.
142
00:05:54,911 --> 00:05:56,845
Let me give you
a life lesson.
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This isn't your fault.
144
00:05:58,415 --> 00:06:00,482
But it's the end
of us forever.
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(cackles)
146
00:06:02,819 --> 00:06:05,086
(squeaks, coughs)
147
00:06:05,121 --> 00:06:06,588
Oh, uh, hey...
hey, Cassidy.
148
00:06:06,623 --> 00:06:08,623
Ugh.
149
00:06:11,561 --> 00:06:13,228
Sweetie,
what happened?
150
00:06:13,263 --> 00:06:15,363
Bullies
broke my trophy.
151
00:06:16,399 --> 00:06:17,665
Oh, don't worry.
152
00:06:17,701 --> 00:06:20,168
When you grow up, you're gonna
have a hell of a career.
153
00:06:20,203 --> 00:06:21,436
Oh, wait,
you're not the girl.
154
00:06:21,471 --> 00:06:23,071
You're gonna have
a hell of a career.
155
00:06:23,106 --> 00:06:24,772
Thank you.
(giggles)
156
00:06:24,808 --> 00:06:27,876
Bullying is wrong, and I'm going
to work to change it.
157
00:06:27,911 --> 00:06:30,945
If I can get them to open up
another register at Kroger's,
158
00:06:30,981 --> 00:06:33,281
I can do something about this.
159
00:06:33,316 --> 00:06:36,184
Wha... Marge, we don't
have Kroger's money.
160
00:06:36,219 --> 00:06:38,319
(gavel slams)
Completing our long-overdue
161
00:06:38,355 --> 00:06:41,155
apologies to the witches
and their families.
162
00:06:41,191 --> 00:06:45,059
Our final new business is
a proposal from Marge Simpson.
163
00:06:45,095 --> 00:06:47,962
Ladies and gentlemen,
I'm about to show you
164
00:06:47,998 --> 00:06:49,964
the world's filthiest word.
165
00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:52,834
Oh, boy, I can't wait
to see this word.
166
00:06:54,137 --> 00:06:55,470
(all groan)
167
00:06:55,505 --> 00:06:56,905
You know, I thought
you were gonna say
168
00:06:56,940 --> 00:06:59,874
(long bleep)
169
00:07:04,681 --> 00:07:07,649
Now, Midge, uh, thanks
for coming and alls, but, uh,
170
00:07:07,684 --> 00:07:11,085
since frontier days, we've
needed bullies to steal land
171
00:07:11,121 --> 00:07:14,422
from Indians
and, uh, uh, punch locusts.
172
00:07:14,457 --> 00:07:16,324
But not anymore.
173
00:07:16,359 --> 00:07:19,294
Let's push bullying
to the ground and make it cry
174
00:07:19,329 --> 00:07:21,362
and point and laugh at it.
175
00:07:21,398 --> 00:07:23,031
Yeah, yeah!
Absolutely!
176
00:07:23,066 --> 00:07:25,066
Let's pass this legislation
177
00:07:25,101 --> 00:07:27,669
without any discussion
whatsoever.
178
00:07:27,704 --> 00:07:30,605
So moved. All in favor?
179
00:07:30,640 --> 00:07:32,607
316, 317,
180
00:07:32,642 --> 00:07:35,510
318, 319 to one.
181
00:07:35,545 --> 00:07:37,478
Who didn't vote for it?
182
00:07:37,514 --> 00:07:38,780
I didn't.
183
00:07:38,815 --> 00:07:40,381
You better
freaking vote for it,
184
00:07:40,417 --> 00:07:42,717
or we'll bust your face,
you little troll.
185
00:07:42,752 --> 00:07:44,018
(moans weakly)
186
00:07:44,054 --> 00:07:47,288
The anti-bullying law
has passed without objection.
187
00:07:47,324 --> 00:07:48,823
Ow.
188
00:07:53,716 --> 00:07:56,484
Hey, Simpson. Come over
and get your Christmas socking.
189
00:07:56,519 --> 00:07:57,585
(siren whoops)
190
00:07:57,620 --> 00:07:59,487
By the unregulated power
191
00:07:59,522 --> 00:08:01,889
vested in us by the
hastily passed bully law,
192
00:08:01,924 --> 00:08:04,358
you're under arrest.
Take 'em away, boys.
193
00:08:06,863 --> 00:08:08,829
Yeah, grab that hat.
194
00:08:08,865 --> 00:08:10,931
Boys, I predict you're
gonna have clear sledding
195
00:08:10,967 --> 00:08:13,501
from here on out.
Uh, except on those sleds.
196
00:08:13,536 --> 00:08:15,069
Uh, I'm gonna
need 'em as evidence.
197
00:08:15,104 --> 00:08:16,771
Uh, is that
a candy cane, Milhouse?
198
00:08:16,806 --> 00:08:18,773
'Cause, uh, yeah.
That-that's also evidence.
199
00:08:20,309 --> 00:08:22,410
Mmm, mmm.
200
00:08:22,445 --> 00:08:25,713
Uh, yes, Kent, the law gives
us broad authority here.
201
00:08:25,748 --> 00:08:29,183
We're not just going after your
garden-variety nurple purpler.
202
00:08:29,218 --> 00:08:32,286
No, no. We're also
arresting adult bullies.
203
00:08:32,321 --> 00:08:34,455
The long-trouser crowd.
204
00:08:34,490 --> 00:08:36,290
And let me tell you,
arresting people
205
00:08:36,325 --> 00:08:38,726
who don't think they're
criminals-- it's, uh...
206
00:08:38,761 --> 00:08:40,428
it's a hell of
a lot easier.
207
00:08:40,463 --> 00:08:42,229
Mmm.
208
00:08:43,599 --> 00:08:45,533
All you worthless writers
ever do
209
00:08:45,568 --> 00:08:47,535
is stare into your phones.
210
00:08:47,570 --> 00:08:50,171
Why don't you text me
some freaking jokes?
211
00:08:53,076 --> 00:08:55,976
A TV star criticizing
his writers.
212
00:08:56,012 --> 00:08:57,712
What has this
world come to?
213
00:08:57,747 --> 00:09:00,247
Another bully for your
collection, boys.
214
00:09:00,283 --> 00:09:03,317
(grunts)
I need some prison jokes. Quick.
215
00:09:03,352 --> 00:09:05,653
How about
"Orange is the New Blecch"?
216
00:09:05,688 --> 00:09:07,955
Beautiful.
217
00:09:07,990 --> 00:09:10,357
Uh, yeah.
A car just cut me off.
218
00:09:10,393 --> 00:09:13,461
License JDB 653.
219
00:09:13,496 --> 00:09:15,262
He's a bully.
220
00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:18,299
(ice rattles)
221
00:09:18,334 --> 00:09:20,334
Oh, and the guy
that filled my soda
222
00:09:20,369 --> 00:09:22,169
gave me mostly ice. Bully.
223
00:09:22,205 --> 00:09:24,004
Mostly ice.
Dear God.
224
00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:27,007
I'll never grow a tough enough
skin for this job.
225
00:09:27,043 --> 00:09:28,609
Excuse me, this is madness.
226
00:09:28,644 --> 00:09:30,644
The ice costs me
more than the soda.
227
00:09:30,680 --> 00:09:32,113
Do you realize this?
228
00:09:32,148 --> 00:09:33,781
Ay, ay, ay.
229
00:09:33,816 --> 00:09:35,649
What hath Mom wrought?
230
00:09:35,685 --> 00:09:38,919
The police are arresting
basically anyone they want to.
231
00:09:38,955 --> 00:09:42,022
Lisa, you got to learn
to trust your government.
232
00:09:42,058 --> 00:09:44,558
(whispers):
That's what I do.
233
00:09:45,661 --> 00:09:47,695
(electrical buzzing)
(screams, groans)
234
00:09:47,730 --> 00:09:49,930
Daddy, can we
make cocoa?
235
00:09:49,966 --> 00:09:51,932
Boys, I'm afraid
Mr. Simpson...
236
00:09:51,968 --> 00:09:53,968
borrowed our mix
and our mugs.
237
00:09:54,003 --> 00:09:56,036
Why don't you ask
for things back?
238
00:09:56,072 --> 00:09:57,872
Are you being bullied?
239
00:09:57,907 --> 00:10:00,541
Now, boys, I'm just turning
the other cheek, like Jesus.
240
00:10:00,576 --> 00:10:02,576
Do you think he
was bullied?
241
00:10:03,813 --> 00:10:05,279
(bullies laughing)
242
00:10:05,314 --> 00:10:08,516
Come on, guys.
Give it back.
243
00:10:08,551 --> 00:10:11,285
Oh... forgive them, Father.
244
00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:13,988
I raised a wuss.
245
00:10:15,725 --> 00:10:18,192
Dear Lord:
Please demonstrate unto us
246
00:10:18,227 --> 00:10:20,795
Uncle Homer's
not a jerk.
247
00:10:20,830 --> 00:10:22,830
(Homer grunting)
248
00:10:25,334 --> 00:10:27,334
See you in hell, old bed.
249
00:10:28,905 --> 00:10:30,905
(whistling a tune)
250
00:10:32,074 --> 00:10:33,908
Oh, come on, Chief.
Why am I in here?
251
00:10:33,943 --> 00:10:35,042
You're a workplace bully.
252
00:10:35,077 --> 00:10:36,877
Chief, I put my name
on my lunch
253
00:10:36,913 --> 00:10:38,512
because you are
always eating it.
254
00:10:38,548 --> 00:10:40,247
Bully! Bully! Bully!
255
00:10:40,283 --> 00:10:41,816
(phone ringing)
256
00:10:41,851 --> 00:10:43,851
Springfield PD.
Chief speaking.
257
00:10:43,886 --> 00:10:46,821
Hello? We'd like
to report a bully.
258
00:10:46,856 --> 00:10:49,190
Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh!
259
00:10:49,225 --> 00:10:52,326
Wow. This bully's going down!
260
00:10:52,361 --> 00:10:54,061
Yeah.
261
00:10:54,096 --> 00:10:56,530
(siren wailing,
knocking at door)
262
00:10:56,566 --> 00:10:58,966
Ooh, I wonder who this could be!
263
00:10:59,001 --> 00:11:00,367
(screams)
264
00:11:00,403 --> 00:11:02,336
Homer Simpson, I'm
here to charge you
265
00:11:02,371 --> 00:11:05,873
with multiple counts of bullying
your neighbor, Ned Flanders.
266
00:11:05,908 --> 00:11:07,708
What the...?!
Oh, I never dreamed
267
00:11:07,743 --> 00:11:10,544
that a law I had abused
could be applied to me!
268
00:11:10,580 --> 00:11:12,479
All right, time
for the perp walk.
269
00:11:12,515 --> 00:11:15,783
Walk? But I just watered up
the Slip'N Slide.
270
00:11:15,818 --> 00:11:17,184
(groaning)
271
00:11:17,220 --> 00:11:19,720
I have no comment
at this time!
272
00:11:19,755 --> 00:11:21,622
I sentence you to
90 days treatment
273
00:11:21,657 --> 00:11:24,725
in our new Biff Stiffler
Bully Reeducation Center.
274
00:11:24,760 --> 00:11:26,093
Is it a school?
275
00:11:26,128 --> 00:11:27,528
More like a prison.
276
00:11:27,563 --> 00:11:29,196
Phew! Thank God.
277
00:11:29,232 --> 00:11:30,764
MAN:
Welcome, friends.
278
00:11:30,800 --> 00:11:32,867
Welcome. Welcome.
No need for names.
279
00:11:32,902 --> 00:11:34,535
Well, there are
need for names,
280
00:11:34,570 --> 00:11:36,270
or there'd be
billions of people
281
00:11:36,305 --> 00:11:37,872
walking around without
knowing each other,
282
00:11:37,907 --> 00:11:39,607
but I meant here.
283
00:11:39,642 --> 00:11:41,275
I know what you're going through
284
00:11:41,310 --> 00:11:43,077
because I'm
a recovering bully myself.
285
00:11:43,112 --> 00:11:45,579
I was bullied
for years and years.
286
00:11:45,615 --> 00:11:48,415
I tried to solve it in a way
that I don't suggest.
287
00:11:48,451 --> 00:11:49,884
I shot a man.
288
00:11:49,919 --> 00:11:51,385
But that didn't fix it.
289
00:11:51,420 --> 00:11:54,054
It fixed it for him.
He died.
290
00:11:54,090 --> 00:11:56,891
But I then went
to a lot of training.
291
00:11:56,926 --> 00:12:00,261
I went into the Army,
and I was punished,
292
00:12:00,296 --> 00:12:02,930
and they told me I got over it.
293
00:12:02,965 --> 00:12:05,699
I don't feel it,
but I'm told I got over it,
294
00:12:05,735 --> 00:12:07,434
and I have something on the wall
295
00:12:07,470 --> 00:12:09,069
that says I do.
Ow!
296
00:12:09,105 --> 00:12:12,840
Time for step one on the path
to empathy, you maggots.
297
00:12:12,875 --> 00:12:15,476
Can I do yard work
like the kids?
298
00:12:15,511 --> 00:12:18,646
Your work is internal.
You mean like vacuuming?
299
00:12:18,681 --> 00:12:20,915
Did you really think
I meant vacuuming?
300
00:12:20,950 --> 00:12:23,284
When I said "internal,"
your brain went
301
00:12:23,319 --> 00:12:26,120
to something inside your
house like vacuuming?
302
00:12:26,155 --> 00:12:28,155
Is that what you thought?
303
00:12:28,190 --> 00:12:31,659
Do you know that's why that
Dyson is a billionaire?
304
00:12:31,694 --> 00:12:34,628
Something is wrong with you
when you think vacuuming.
305
00:12:34,664 --> 00:12:36,764
I'm talking about
inside your head.
306
00:12:36,799 --> 00:12:38,198
In your head!
307
00:12:38,234 --> 00:12:40,501
Oh, it's so boring in there.
308
00:12:40,536 --> 00:12:41,969
Oh, is it?
309
00:12:42,004 --> 00:12:43,871
And I thought it might
be like the Louvre.
310
00:12:43,906 --> 00:12:45,306
Now, no more talking!
311
00:12:45,341 --> 00:12:46,707
I know how this works.
312
00:12:46,742 --> 00:12:48,876
You find the toughest one,
you crack that person,
313
00:12:48,911 --> 00:12:50,678
and the rest of you
fall in line.
314
00:12:50,713 --> 00:12:52,880
You'll never crack me.
315
00:12:52,915 --> 00:12:55,015
(chuckles)
Ah, you're probably right.
316
00:12:55,051 --> 00:12:57,818
Just like you never heard
your mother say,
317
00:12:57,853 --> 00:12:59,119
"I love you."
318
00:12:59,155 --> 00:13:00,788
(sobbing)
319
00:13:00,823 --> 00:13:04,458
There's not enough tissue in
the world for what I'm feeling!
320
00:13:04,493 --> 00:13:05,893
(sobbing)
321
00:13:05,928 --> 00:13:07,628
There, there.
322
00:13:07,663 --> 00:13:09,463
The first six
tissues are free.
323
00:13:09,498 --> 00:13:10,831
The rest you pay for.
324
00:13:10,866 --> 00:13:12,433
Use the first two again.
325
00:13:12,468 --> 00:13:14,068
They don't seem very wet.
326
00:13:14,103 --> 00:13:15,402
Every bully
327
00:13:15,438 --> 00:13:17,037
is woven
from the colorful thread
328
00:13:17,073 --> 00:13:19,073
known as humiliation.
329
00:13:19,108 --> 00:13:21,575
Gary, who humiliated you?
330
00:13:21,610 --> 00:13:22,876
Well... (clears throat)
331
00:13:22,912 --> 00:13:24,979
my father was a
psychologist.
332
00:13:25,014 --> 00:13:28,816
He was a big believer
in the methods of B.F. Skinner!
333
00:13:28,851 --> 00:13:32,653
I had to go through a hamster
maze to get to my breakfast.
334
00:13:32,688 --> 00:13:34,655
Which way is love, Daddy?
335
00:13:34,690 --> 00:13:36,223
(voice breaking):
Which way is love?
336
00:13:36,258 --> 00:13:37,658
(crying)
337
00:13:37,693 --> 00:13:42,196
He made me go
through a maze.
338
00:13:42,231 --> 00:13:45,065
Ah. Breakthrough.
339
00:13:45,101 --> 00:13:46,500
Just sit down, Gary.
340
00:13:46,535 --> 00:13:48,569
Have the free potato chips.
341
00:13:48,604 --> 00:13:50,270
You, we'll just
heavily medicate.
342
00:13:50,306 --> 00:13:51,839
I'm sorry,
there's no other hope.
343
00:13:51,874 --> 00:13:53,207
Give me your money.
344
00:13:53,242 --> 00:13:54,742
Oh, beautiful.
345
00:13:54,777 --> 00:13:56,610
You're just proving my point.
346
00:13:56,645 --> 00:13:58,045
What about you, Homer?
347
00:13:58,080 --> 00:14:00,347
Why do you hate
this... Flanders?
348
00:14:00,383 --> 00:14:03,617
Well, he thinks he's so perfect,
with his organized garage
349
00:14:03,652 --> 00:14:06,587
and his barbecue grill
that never has crud on it.
350
00:14:06,622 --> 00:14:08,288
That's very good.
Keep exploring.
351
00:14:08,324 --> 00:14:10,591
I'm already hating him
a little bit.
352
00:14:10,626 --> 00:14:13,394
Kids who love him
and rub his back.
353
00:14:13,429 --> 00:14:16,563
And he's got enough extra hair
for a mustache!
354
00:14:16,599 --> 00:14:19,099
All I got are Archie
and Wicket here.
355
00:14:19,135 --> 00:14:21,101
I'm so bald.
356
00:14:21,137 --> 00:14:23,604
Deeper. You've got
to go deeper!
357
00:14:23,639 --> 00:14:25,272
(in a deep voice):
I'm so bald.
358
00:14:25,307 --> 00:14:28,542
Deeper! And if you think
I mean on the ground,
359
00:14:28,577 --> 00:14:30,077
I'm going to punch you!
360
00:14:30,112 --> 00:14:32,246
Why do you hate Flanders?
361
00:14:32,281 --> 00:14:34,214
Oh, everybody
hates Flanders.
362
00:14:34,250 --> 00:14:35,783
No, just you.
363
00:14:35,818 --> 00:14:36,818
That's right.
Great guy.
364
00:14:36,819 --> 00:14:37,951
He ain't no chooch.
365
00:14:37,987 --> 00:14:40,087
Homer, you've got
to find the answer to this.
366
00:14:40,122 --> 00:14:42,322
It's been bothering you
your whole life.
367
00:14:42,358 --> 00:14:44,391
Also, it's five to 11:00.
368
00:14:44,427 --> 00:14:46,293
I have ten more people
before noon!
369
00:14:46,328 --> 00:14:48,729
Oh, can you just
tell me the answer?
370
00:14:48,764 --> 00:14:50,297
If I told you the answer,
371
00:14:50,332 --> 00:14:53,067
then you would not have
discovered it for yourself.
372
00:14:53,102 --> 00:14:55,903
Did you see that, uh,
Indiana Jones movie?
373
00:14:55,938 --> 00:14:59,239
Did anybody tell him
where that thing was?
374
00:14:59,275 --> 00:15:01,141
Does this guy know?
Well...
375
00:15:01,177 --> 00:15:03,911
Only you know!
All right.
376
00:15:03,946 --> 00:15:07,314
I hate Ned Flanders because...
377
00:15:07,349 --> 00:15:08,916
(gasps)
378
00:15:08,951 --> 00:15:11,919
...because he's better
than me in every way!
379
00:15:11,954 --> 00:15:15,289
I think we have a breakthrough.
380
00:15:15,324 --> 00:15:16,857
I was gonna say that, too.
381
00:15:23,855 --> 00:15:25,988
I used to be a jerk.
382
00:15:26,024 --> 00:15:29,792
I never cared whose feelings I
hurt as long as it got a laugh.
383
00:15:29,827 --> 00:15:32,695
I took a thumb
when a pinky would do.
384
00:15:32,730 --> 00:15:36,132
But we have learned our lesson,
so I hereby promise...
385
00:15:36,167 --> 00:15:37,533
I promise.
386
00:15:37,568 --> 00:15:38,634
I promise.
387
00:15:38,669 --> 00:15:39,869
Te prometo.
388
00:15:39,904 --> 00:15:41,637
We all promise.
389
00:15:41,672 --> 00:15:44,373
ALL:
To be a better human being.
390
00:15:44,409 --> 00:15:46,008
Better human being.
391
00:15:46,044 --> 00:15:47,910
Ugh! Once again, people.
392
00:15:47,945 --> 00:15:50,413
ALL
To be a better human being.
393
00:15:50,448 --> 00:15:51,881
Better being.
394
00:15:51,916 --> 00:15:53,482
Does he have
to be in this?
395
00:15:53,518 --> 00:15:55,851
Well, surprisingly,
that was our best take.
396
00:15:55,887 --> 00:15:58,988
Uh, question: What will
this video be used for?
397
00:15:59,023 --> 00:16:01,690
Oh, in schools,
by police groups.
398
00:16:01,726 --> 00:16:04,260
CNN. They're doing
a lot of things now
399
00:16:04,295 --> 00:16:06,328
that have nothing
to do with news.
400
00:16:06,364 --> 00:16:09,031
This is great.
Nothing America likes better
401
00:16:09,067 --> 00:16:11,901
than someone who screws up,
goes away for a little while,
402
00:16:11,936 --> 00:16:13,369
then comes back
and tells everyone
403
00:16:13,404 --> 00:16:14,770
how to live their lives.
404
00:16:14,806 --> 00:16:17,106
Oh, I forgot
to include remorse.
405
00:16:17,141 --> 00:16:18,774
Oh, it's okay.
406
00:16:18,810 --> 00:16:21,210
When it kicks in,
it'll be a thousand times worse.
407
00:16:21,245 --> 00:16:22,912
What happened to me?
408
00:16:22,947 --> 00:16:24,880
My mother told me she loved me.
409
00:16:24,916 --> 00:16:26,682
Maybe I couldn't hear her
410
00:16:26,717 --> 00:16:29,285
because my hand
was over her mouth.
411
00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:32,221
Let yourself out, please.
412
00:16:32,256 --> 00:16:34,523
ANNOUNCER: And here to throw out
the first pitch,
413
00:16:34,559 --> 00:16:36,492
reformed bully Homer Simpson.
414
00:16:38,729 --> 00:16:41,130
And the pitch hits the umpire,
415
00:16:41,165 --> 00:16:42,965
but it's not an umpire at all.
416
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:45,601
It's a returning
serviceman from Iraq.
417
00:16:45,636 --> 00:16:48,904
And the crowd goes wild.
(applause and cheering)
418
00:16:48,940 --> 00:16:50,439
You're a hero.
419
00:16:50,475 --> 00:16:52,174
No, you're-you're the hero. I...
420
00:16:52,210 --> 00:16:54,076
No, no, you're wrong.
You're the hero.
421
00:16:54,112 --> 00:16:55,311
I... No, I just...
I'm not.
422
00:16:55,346 --> 00:16:57,113
I-I just have
a little PTSD.
423
00:16:57,148 --> 00:16:58,948
No, if you see a hero,
424
00:16:58,983 --> 00:17:01,617
you're looking into a mirror,
man, because you're the hero.
425
00:17:01,652 --> 00:17:04,120
Why is Mr. Simpson a hero?
426
00:17:05,156 --> 00:17:06,689
Well, I suppose it's because
427
00:17:06,724 --> 00:17:09,525
he used to be bad
and now he's good.
428
00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:11,227
Yay?
Yay?
429
00:17:11,262 --> 00:17:15,297
MALE ANNOUNCER: Jenny, the Costington's float
contains 10,001 flowers,
430
00:17:15,333 --> 00:17:18,501
and work started the day after
last year's parade finished.
431
00:17:18,536 --> 00:17:20,369
FEMALE ANNOUNCER:
You say that every year,
432
00:17:20,404 --> 00:17:21,804
and it's just not true.
433
00:17:21,839 --> 00:17:23,072
(male announcer chuckles)
434
00:17:23,107 --> 00:17:25,307
MALE ANNOUNCER:
Well, there you go again.
435
00:17:25,343 --> 00:17:28,911
Daddy, maybe someday you'll
be a hero like Mr. Simpson.
436
00:17:28,946 --> 00:17:31,981
He's a hero, all right.
A hero sandwich full of baloney.
437
00:17:32,016 --> 00:17:34,350
Huh. I almost said that
in front of the boys!
438
00:17:34,385 --> 00:17:36,986
Time I gave that Homer
a real tongue bath!
439
00:17:37,021 --> 00:17:39,555
Ooh.
Glad I didn't say that, either.
440
00:17:40,691 --> 00:17:43,425
Uh-huh! Uh, wait.
441
00:17:43,461 --> 00:17:45,194
What do you want me
to do with this?
442
00:17:45,229 --> 00:17:46,662
NED: How about writing,
"I'm sorry, Ned"?
443
00:17:46,697 --> 00:17:48,697
(mutters)
What are you doing here?
444
00:17:48,733 --> 00:17:50,266
Homer, sorry is not just
445
00:17:50,301 --> 00:17:51,941
the most exciting
board game ever devised.
446
00:17:51,969 --> 00:17:54,036
It's a word I need
to hear from you.
447
00:17:54,071 --> 00:17:55,938
(sighs)
Fine. Sorry. We good?
448
00:17:55,973 --> 00:17:57,706
No, we're not good!
449
00:17:57,742 --> 00:18:00,042
You really think one little
"sorry" makes up for years of,
450
00:18:00,077 --> 00:18:03,712
"Stupid, stupid,
stupid, stupid Flanders"?
451
00:18:03,748 --> 00:18:06,849
I'm starting to think
you don't want an autograph.
452
00:18:06,884 --> 00:18:08,284
This is what I want.
453
00:18:08,319 --> 00:18:11,187
I want you to understand
how you make me feel.
454
00:18:11,222 --> 00:18:16,692
Homer Simpson, you made me less
of a man in my sons' eyes.
455
00:18:16,727 --> 00:18:18,694
Now do you feel remorse?
456
00:18:19,730 --> 00:18:22,198
Oh, my God.
I'm a monster.
457
00:18:22,233 --> 00:18:23,566
Mm-hmm.
458
00:18:23,601 --> 00:18:25,034
Wait! You can't go!
459
00:18:25,069 --> 00:18:27,503
I need your forgiveness!
460
00:18:27,538 --> 00:18:30,839
You can't push a guy
around forever, Dad.
461
00:18:30,875 --> 00:18:33,342
You better take a long,
fat look in the mirror.
462
00:18:33,377 --> 00:18:34,743
I know.
463
00:18:36,347 --> 00:18:38,581
(Homer groaning)
464
00:18:38,616 --> 00:18:41,217
Oh, driveway! Oh!
465
00:18:41,252 --> 00:18:44,086
I crawled here on my knees,
all the way from my house,
466
00:18:44,121 --> 00:18:46,055
to ask for your
forgiveness.
467
00:18:46,090 --> 00:18:49,058
Well, sir, I appreciate that,
but I don't bend that easily.
468
00:18:49,093 --> 00:18:51,026
Well, I'm gonna wait
right here on my knees
469
00:18:51,062 --> 00:18:53,162
till you change your mind.
Okily-dokily.
470
00:18:53,197 --> 00:18:55,497
On my knees!
Mm-hmm. I hear you.
471
00:18:55,533 --> 00:18:57,533
Not too comfortable.
Nor should it be.
472
00:18:58,836 --> 00:19:00,836
♪ ♪
473
00:19:17,989 --> 00:19:20,522
I think he's suffered
enough, Daddy.
474
00:19:20,558 --> 00:19:22,925
And he seems
to be sinking.
475
00:19:24,395 --> 00:19:27,096
We're losing him.
476
00:19:27,131 --> 00:19:29,198
"And when you
stand praying,
477
00:19:29,233 --> 00:19:31,967
"if you hold anything
against anyone, forgive him,
478
00:19:32,003 --> 00:19:34,870
so that your Father in Heaven
may forgive you your sins."
479
00:19:34,905 --> 00:19:36,939
That's from that
ribbon book.
480
00:19:36,974 --> 00:19:38,574
Yes, it is, Homer.
481
00:19:38,609 --> 00:19:41,210
And I forgive you,
transgressoreeno.
482
00:19:41,245 --> 00:19:45,748
Now, Ned, why don't you join us
for an all-is-forgiven brunch?
483
00:19:45,783 --> 00:19:47,650
Oh, can I make
my famous mimosa?
484
00:19:47,685 --> 00:19:50,753
A little sparkling water and
a glass full of regular water?
485
00:19:50,788 --> 00:19:53,756
Stu... pendous, Flanders.
486
00:19:53,791 --> 00:19:55,491
(Homer chuckles)
487
00:20:04,022 --> 00:20:06,990
Hey, Miss Drizzle!
Otto! Otto!
488
00:20:07,025 --> 00:20:08,925
How many tabs did you take?
489
00:20:08,961 --> 00:20:11,928
(chuckles) I took a whole sheet
of Hello Kitties!
490
00:20:11,964 --> 00:20:13,763
Oh, Otto! That will have
491
00:20:13,799 --> 00:20:16,333
a most deleterious effect
on your brain.
492
00:20:16,368 --> 00:20:19,269
The cerebrum, the cerebellum,
the medulla.
493
00:20:19,304 --> 00:20:21,304
But why am I telling
you about it
494
00:20:21,340 --> 00:20:24,674
when we can visit the
inside of your head?
495
00:20:24,710 --> 00:20:27,878
Bus, do your stuff!
496
00:20:29,181 --> 00:20:31,715
(cheering)
497
00:20:31,750 --> 00:20:34,217
Aah! Get it out! Get it out!
498
00:20:36,922 --> 00:20:38,922
(screaming)
499
00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:42,993
MAN:
Mr. Foreman?
500
00:20:43,028 --> 00:20:44,895
Mr. Foreman,
please wake up!
501
00:20:44,930 --> 00:20:46,963
Aah! Who murdered who again?
502
00:20:46,999 --> 00:20:53,499
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
503
00:21:33,114 --> 00:21:34,911
Shh!